Dance like no one’s watching. Heard that expression? There’s power in that. Most of us can feel a sense of freedom when we dance on our own compared to dancing with other people around us. Dancing on your own means you can let go and go with the flow without any fear of judgement.
If we could apply this to other areas of our lives by switching up our perspective, we could achieve a better sense of flow and escape the fear of judgement in so many areas of our lives – in our whole lives! Think how much freer and self-confident you could feel.
It’s not practical to do everything in isolation and without that judgement so how can we get that feeling when people are actually watching and around us – and possibly judging us? Here are two ways of thinking that I’ve found helped me feel more self-confident and escape the fear of judgement from other people.
- Change how you judge judgement
- See people as they really are – you and all
Change how you judge judgement
I’ll share an example to help bring this to life a bit. I’m currently learning the piano and I’ve starting to write my own music. In the past, I’d have been too scared to share my music and even more scared to play it to people. Why? Judgement! I’d freeze up and certainly not enjoy it. How did I change that? I changed how I judged judgement, starting with thinking about why people might judge me eg
- The songs are boring
- The timing is all over the place
- It’s a waste of time and childish to learn the piano at my age
I then took these judgements and looked at how these opinions don’t really impact me:
The songs are boring – this person might not have the same taste as me when it comes to music but what does that matter? It doesn’t.
The timing is all over the place – if this person focuses on perfection then I send them love that they can appreciate things for what they are and that they don’t live their lives with the pressure of perfection hanging over them. Does that matter to me when to me playing to them? Nope.
It’s a waste of time and childish – if it’s childish then great! I want to stay connected to my child-self and I don’t mind if they think it’s a waste of time. I get enjoyment from it and it’s okay if people don’t share the same viewpoint. Does it matter? Nope.
This sounds like a lot of thought work but it happened very quickly in my mind. If you can build a habit of thinking like this then it will start to become automatic and you won’t have to actively think through different situations – it will just become a feeling of inner self-love and confidence. You’ll be able to do things that would have worried and scared you in the past without even thinking about it. The more you can do this, the more you’ll build up a library of feel-good situations and that will help you feel less anxiety in the future. I wouldn’t have played the piano to people in the past but now I do and even though it’s still a bit scary, I’m not worried about any judgement. I feel more self-confident.
See people as they really are – you and all
The other way to feel more self-confident and worry less about what people think is to go back to basics. Why are we here? Who are we? We are all connected and part of the unified field – here to experience different living lives. So when someone judges you or you judge someone you are really just judging yourself. You can either chose to learn about yourself from the judgement thought you had – or you just ignore it. If people judge you and think no deeper about that thought, then that’s up to them. It’s not up to you to change that for them. But it is up to you to not let their missed opportunity for learning to impact you negatively. If your intuition is banging on the door for you to help them learn then, of course, you should follow that – but check-in that it’s your intuition and not your ego in disguise. Otherwise, send them love from a distance and hope that they can learn from themselves in the future. You’re just wishing that for yourself by doing this. Their judgement about you is nothing personal unless you take it that way.
I’ve done some fairly bold things in recent years including changing career (walking away from one and starting afresh on my own) and I’ve also been more open about my spiritual thoughts (although there’s still a long way to go with that). Two things I would not have done in the past due to fear of judgment. The above ways of thinking have helped me follow my heart with less fear about what people think. Hopefully they help you in some way.
How do you escape the fear of judgement and live more self-confidently? I’d love to hear your thoughts – send me a message!
Love and light
x
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