Not all that glitters is gold — and not all that “heals” is healing. In a world where healing is trending, it’s easier than ever to confuse appearance with depth, performance with presence, and charisma with truth.

So much of what is termed “healing” is still a performance – a new type of addiction. An evolution of the ego trapped in carefully managed identities. This is when the ego learns to stick around by popping on some robes and adapting to a new identity.

The ego is clever. It knows how to mimic and keep you in a space where you feel safe. But by being sold quick fixes, spiritual trends, polished offerings and seemingly safe healing spaces doesn’t usually go deep enough for true healing. True healing doesn’t keep you trapped in a cycle of chasing growth, enlightenment or a final and defined identity. The only identity you have is yourself and that’s what healing is about discovering. 

When your ego masks and disguises itself in a space of healing its still grasping for worth and approval from the outside world. Real healing doesn’t happen here. Real healing happens quietly and in the places that aren’t always pretty. In your body. In your shadow. In gentle and honest moments where the masks can fall away. In the tears. In feeling the pain you want to release. In forgiving your past survival mode and deciding to move out of it back to yourself.

Deep healing isn’t about escaping who you are. It’s about remembering who you are — in this life and beyond. It’s about letting your soul lead, rather than your wounds. It’s about enabling your soul to lead you. Who were you before the wounds, the survival patterns, before the need to prove anything to yourself or the outside world?

Two people can use the same tools — a crystal, a drum, a mantra. One uses them as a bridge for the soul to awaken. The other uses them as props in a performance that validates their identity. The difference isn’t in the tools. It’s in the energy. The intention. The depth of presence. The willingness to be real.

Signs you might be caught in spiritual performance (or watching someone who is):

  • Everything looks polished, but something feels hollow
  • There’s pressure to always be “high vibe”
  • Vulnerability feels unsafe or is subtly avoided
  • The facilitator seems to “know it all” rather than walking beside you
  • Growth is fast-tracked and bypasses the body

Signs of grounded healing presence:

  • You feel more in your body, not escaping it
  • Space is made for your truth, not someone else’s agenda
  • Silence is welcome, not avoided
  • The healer holds space, not power
  • There is room for emotion, shadow, and realness

Deep healing asks more of us. But it gives more too. 

If you want to be free of the control and influence of the outside world and reach your own space of healing connection, then ask yourself this

  • Does this healing help me soften the ego and drop my masks?
  • Does this healing help me keep my mind and heart open?
  • Is this healing rule based or discovery-based?
  • Does this healing help calm my nervous system?
  • Does this healing allow imperfection? 
  • Does this healing ask anything more of me than just to show up?
  • Does the person offering the healing feel authentic or are they wearing a mask?

True healing starts when you’re able to show up – as you really are. 

Spiritual bypassing will only get you so far – it’s just a new mask that the ego has decided to wear. And all masks take energy to maintain.

Before you can truly anchor in light and love, you need to walk through your own darkness. That’s not failure — it’s the path. Spiritual bypassing might look good, but it won’t get you home. It’s just a prettier mask — and every mask costs energy to maintain.

True healing? It’s raw. It’s honest. And it’s worth everything.

Your next step. The decision is yours.

Need help? Let me know.